Embracing the ever-changing world has been my focus this past summer.

What seems like a year ago that my twins were starting school has me feeling like it’s a time that is now lost in history as they’ve just started 6th grade.  MY BABIES…my babies that made me a mom are in a stage of life that is seriously frightening me.  The kind of frightening feelings that keep me up later at night than I’d like to be.  And while my very real feelings can be paralyzing, I’m in constant mindset to not feel like my feet are cemented in a place of fear but using those feelings to fuel my drive by taking advantage of every hour and day I have to be with them.

If I had to chose one word to describe how I’m embracing my ever changing world as a mom to twin 6th graders, a 3rd grader and a toddler at 42 it would be….present.  For the first time I can confidently write that I am present in their lives.  But what does me being present truly mean?

It means:

-i’m rarely on the phone

-texts tend to go unanswered

-emails sit in my inbox longer than I’m proud of

-my computer is lonely

-my social life is nonexistent

-and my quiet, alone time happens after the kids are all in bed.

BUT…

I’m with my kids. And I’ve made a new vow to use my BIG camera to document more and keep the iPhone camera for the unexpected moments I don’t want to forget.

Last Thursday, my husband and I decided to make a surprise visit to his parents in Pinetop.  We haven’t been able to spend a weekend with them at their cabin in a year and this visit was definitely a surprise they’ll always remember.

When Cashlyn was at a friend’s cabin for the day, I took my two blonde babies to a nearby park and packed my big camera along.  While Blake and Camryn are 10 years apart in age, they are both full of curiosity and wonder with everything around them.  For Blake, she’s seeing and learning things for the first time and Camryn has this magical way of seeing something she knows like it’s the first time with curious eyes.

After a summer of being fully present with my kids, I learned so much from them.  There is no normal day to day life for me, I’ve learned that even at 42 I have so much to learn. With the biggest lesson learned is that the days pass quickly and to intentionally live without regret.

They’re my grateful reminder that when I’m present with my kids, we’re learning the in’s and out’s of life together.

 

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